Twas three nights before Christmas, when Brittnee called Matt.
Not one road was clean of snow, not even at Matt's habitat.
Matt's car slid on the road and into Big O,
Where he bought new tires and told Brittnee he could not go.
(And now for the rest of the story with continued rhyming . . . )
The thought of snuggling next to my wife in a warm bed away from the hazardous roads and frigid winter air was what I envisioned for the start of my Christmas vacation. Instead I had the plump snowflake fairies pound on my head with visions of me sliding off a snowcapped mountain cliff while Brittnee panicked and froze stiff. But to my astonishment and glee, a plan was presented to me. Brittnee's brother phoned while I waited for my snow tires and told me how the unexpected Christmas visit would transpire.
At half-past three with his wife he would leave Roosevelt, to pick me up while I prayed the snow so fast would melt. Meanwhile my task was daunting for I had to lie to my wife and tell her I would leave first thing in the morning to not cause her strife. Up till it was time to say good night she believed my little fib, but then my phone lost reception in the mountains and I was forced to ad-lib.
"My battery had died and my phone refused to hold a charge," I said.
To which she replied, "I waited for your call but when it didn't come, I called you fifty times instead."
On and on our phone tag went as the truck weaved through the snowy Uinta mountains without a dent. The smarter thing would have been to turn off my phone, but instead I stayed true to my farce so the surprise visit was not blown. To my dismay this only angered Brittnee even more until she said, "You sure know how to ruin my evening and you just love to start a war." After that Brittnee's brother Brandt said, "Turn your phone off and then you won't have to endure her every scoff or run the risk of her hearing our constant coughs." And so I did.
You see Brandt and Mindy were sick, fatigued, but still on my side, not only did they give me a ride to Roosevelt, their disappointment for Brittnee they could not hide. So Brittnee's mother they called to scold her on their behalf, for they heard just a half of our argument and now it was no longer all a laugh. In her room Brittnee received a scolding while she pouted in bed, but little did she know her house for me was not much further ahead.
She said, "I bet you won't get here until 2 pm tomorrow since you are always late."
As she said this I stepped out onto her driveway, laughed under my breath, for her unexpected visit could not wait and surely this argument I longed to abate. She wondered why I was laughing but I quickly denied such a thing as Brandt got to her bedroom door and opened it with a swing. Her face all flushed and tears in her eyes, he asked her to get out of bed for a Christmas surprise. She refused saying, "No I can't I am in my underwear." Then in a blink of an eye I entered the room, slipped past Brandt and stood before her as if I was walking on air. Startled and yet happy she said she knew I had lied. I gave her a hug, a proper reprimand and then smiled wide. It was then that Brittnee realized her brother and sister-in-law had heard our entire argument and discovered that Brittnee at last had a flaw.
Now she was red with embarrassment not knowing what to say, but she wrapped herself in an electric blanket and skirted off to Brandt and Mindy to tell them she worries so much she's going to go gray. They quickly agreed and added, "You were being a little brat, but we hope you are happy." And happy she was, for her husband had arrived a whole day early to her surprise.
A Happy New Year to all and to all a good night!