My Brain

So have you ever heard that while being pregnant, or sometimes after, that you lose 20% of your brain cells?

I think I have lost 30%! I am now able to smoothly have a conversation with an adult but I still feel like I'm not making sense. Or I feel as though I forgot what I was saying or doing. Is this real? Is pregnancy brain real or is it a myth?

I have heard that it is due to lack of sleep, I have read that as well. However I beg to differ, something has honestly happened to me. I feel "stupider" in ways but "smarter" in others:)

Smarter about raising this precious girl, it takes some thinking-right. And if I have happened to lose some, well, it was well worth it.

The Year 2011

The year 2011 has brought an abundant amount of blessings to me and my family. Some of these blessings include: my pregnancy and birth with Aunika, buying a new home, vacationing to San Fransico and Chicago, and my brother coming safely home from Afghanistan.

Becoming pregnant with Aunika was the most precious blessing to us personally. She did not come easily to us. We had to seek medical help which at first I was embarrassed about. I was surprised to find that there are many other couples who also have a hard time conceiving and I learned that that was nothing to feel ashamed of. We actually became pregnant a heck of alot quicker than I thought after we received help.



Once we found we were prego, I wasn't as happy as I should have been. I actually became used to the idea of trying month after month and felt like God wasn't answering our prayers. I became bitter about it and didn't like being around children, thus making me not like being around friends with children. It took time to grow accustomed to the idea of being pregnant. It wasn't until I could actually feel her move inside of me that I became happy, and even more excited when I started buying things early on. Pregnancy wasn't the easiest for me. Many of you may know I was considered a "high-risk" pregnancy due to my heart condition. I also experienced pretty severe swelling at five weeks. I visited the MFM (maternal fetal medicine aka pregnancy specialist for high risk people) who kept close watch on me and had me work part time so that I could spend the other time at home resting with my feet up. My work wasn't to happy about that idea but somehow it worked out. Again another blessing, I still managed to keep insurance on top of that (also an additional blessing). My job didn't seem to believe in the idea of giving me a lighter load or letting me use the crutch of my swelling or pregnancy to keep me from doing things. Occassionaly I had to have co-workers step in or HR inform me that I shouldn't be doing various tasks my department was assigning me to. It was very difficult to work even if it was for part time. My job also assigned me a work load meant for a full time employee rather than part time and my responsibilities were quite stressful. Despite the stresses of work, I strived to be happy, I prayed to be happy, I tried to do things that made me happy. I had a to do list that I felt happy about each time I checked off an item. My husband was a big help through it all. Somehow that brought me peace of mind but occasionally I felt depressed when various ladies would inform me of how "Big" I look. Which by the way is something you NEVER say to a pregnant lady, even if they are. None the less, becoming prego was a blessing, and some blessings do come with adversity.


Aunika is a beautiful spirit in our home and we love her very much. Her arrival was a success with no complaints other than my scoliosis taking a huge toll on my recovery and contractions being more painful than I anticipated. There was a little surprise to having a midwife deliver my baby instead of my doctor. I was immediately okay with that because I initially went to see midwives (Which I highly recommend for a first time pregnant women to do at least the first few visits with because they answer your questions with sincerity and have the time to listen. They are also just as qualified as doctors but do not have the training to do surgery. ) but then switched to see a doctor because of the fact I was high risk. The midwife did a great job and rooted me on every step, making my deliver last six hours. I was grateful to an amazing husband who stood by my side and helped me with every little thing until I could do things on my own. Even now he helps with half the load of being a parent.


We accomplished our New Years goal we set last year and bought a home in Eagle Mountain. At one time I had told myself we would never live in Eagle Mountain because how far it was away from the freeway. It was quite hilarious and ironic I said that, because I'm the one that gave in and now love where we are located. I'm also one who graduated from a small town in the middle of no where.


We are blessed with friendly neighbors who care. Our whole community is involved in each others lives and organizes various activities; there is a Ladies Night Out, Book Club, play groups, Christmas Caroling, Food Drives, and project night newly founded by yours truly. All these events are things I have prayed for to help me grow accustomed to being a new stay at home mother and wife. It is such a blessing to have a home and stay at home with things to give me an outlet.

Vacationing to Chicago and San Fransico is something that may be no surprise to some. We do vacation at least once or twice every year. But then again we were two career driven individuals who had no children. I don't think we'll be vacationing much longer, or at least as often for a while. And as far as viewing vacationing as a blessing, we should. Who is to say as the "last days" approach us anyone would afford vacationing. Being able to vacation alone is a blessing and one I greatly cherish. I have lived in Utah my whole life and I needed to get out and see the rest of the world or states for that matter:)





Some of you may know that my brother is currently serving in the Army Reserve. He came safely home from Afghanistan in October after being there for a year. It was a miraculous blessing and something we all looked forward to. We all had the privilege to meet him at the airport base and watch many of them welcomed home by many other family , friends, and even the news. Unfortunately not everyone in that troop came home. My brother served as a combat engineer clearing the area of bombs. He left as a private coming home as a coronal. I will keep this brief, I don't want to publicly announce what my brother has been through. However my family is truly grateful to him for his service.









Though the year 2011 brought an abundant amount of blessings to my family I am truly grateful for the blessings we continue to receive on a daily basis. I will try my best to keep you all updated with the events of our little Aunika and what is going on in our lives. Please stay tuned and thank you if you managed to make it through this long novel:)

Happy Belated New Year!!

So it has been a while since I have last posted and I thought I would at least wish you all a Merry Christmas and provide you with a poem that touches home to my family at this time of year.


T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,

HE LIVED ALL ALONE,

IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE,

MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE.


I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY,

WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,

AND TO SEE JUST WHO,

IN THIS HOME, DID LIVE.


I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,

A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,

NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,

NOT EVEN A TREE.


NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,

JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,

ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES,

OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.


WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,

AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,

A SOBER THOUGHT,

CAME THROUGH MY MIND.


FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,

IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,

I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,

ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.


THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,

SILENT, ALONE,

CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR,

IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.


THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,

THE ROOM IN DISORDER,

NOT HOW I PICTURED,

A TRUE AMERICAN SOLDIER.


WAS THIS THE HERO,

OF WHO'M ID JUST READ?


CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,

THE FLOOR FOR A BED?


I REALISED THE FAMILIES,

THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,

OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS,

WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.


SOON ROUND THE WORLD,

THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,

AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE,

A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.


THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM

EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,

BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,

LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.


I COULDN'T HELP WONDER,

HOW MANY LAY ALONE,

ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE,

IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.


THE VERY THOUGHT BROUGHT,

A TEAR TO MY EYE,

I DROPPED TO MY KNEES,

AND STARTED TO CRY.


THE SOLDIER AWAKENED,

AND I HEARD A VOICE,

"SANTA DON'T CRY,

THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;


I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,

I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,

MY LIFE IS MY GOD,

MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS.."


THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,

AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,

I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,

I CONTINUED TO WEEP.


I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,

SO SILENT AND STILL,

AND WE BOTH SHIVERED,

FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.


I DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE,

ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,

THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR,

SO WILLING TO FIGHT.


THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,

WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,

WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,

IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."


ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,

AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.


"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,

AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."


This poem was written by a peacekeeping soldier stationed overseas and requested:


PLEASE. WOULD YOU DO ME THE KIND FAVOR OF SENDING THIS TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN? CHRISTMAS WILL BE COMING SOON AND SOME CREDIT IS DUE TO ALL OF THE SERVICE MEN AND WOMEN FOR OUR BEING ABLE TO CELEBRATE THESE FESTIVITIES. LET'S TRY IN THIS SMALL WAY TO PAY A TINY BIT OF WHAT WE OWE.


MAKE PEOPLE STOP AND THINK OF OUR HEROES, LIVING AND DEAD, WHO SACRIFICED THEMSELVES FOR US, PLEASE, DO YOUR SMALL PART TO PLANT THIS SMALL SEED.


My small part is typing this poem to share to you all. As my last day at work before my Christmas break, I attended a luncheon with fellow co-workers talking of Christmas plans. I began to weep because going home for this Christmas meant no brother to share the memories with and I became sad with fearing the unknown of what is going on over there. I feared for his safety and loneliness from family. I felt emptiness for my only sibling off at war.


Earlier that day I had talked to a mother at work from one of the pre schools I am over who asked me what my Christmas plans were. I told her of a family party we have each Christmas Eve and then smirked that this Christmas we won't be doing much because my brother is off in Afghanistan.


She then cried to me explaining that her family does nothing to celebrate but that she is okay with that. She is okay because she is happy to be with her children and create her own memories. She is a single mother who struggles with the basic necessities to provide her children let alone presents from Santa this year. The mother cried tears of joy expressing her thanks to me for the soldiers who fight for our freedom to celebrate Christmas and to enjoy peace and happiness. She was happy to live in a place so free where she doesn't have to worry for her children's safety. She was so grateful and apologized for weeping but I then explained to her that I was grateful she said what she did and that I didn't realize that before. I said that I would remember to share with my family to not be sad this Christmas. but to be happy because the soldiers would want you to. They are fighting for our freedom to celebrate how we please.


As a sister of a soldier I can only imagine how it feels to be a wife or a mother. I have not felt remorse until that moment on the luncheon table. I am now okay knowing of what I shared with you and I hope you all have a Merry Christmas knowing of the sacrifice that is being made for your freedom to celebrate.

San Diego Trip-Farewell Soldier

San Diego is a great vacation spot my family loves to visit. We have been there at least six times together over the last several years. This particular trip though was the first time we have been on vacation all together since my brother and I have been married.The purpose of this vacation was to have fun before we sent my brother off to Afghanistan. He isn't leaving until the 7th of this month but he had training in July, so we had to plan the vacation for sometime in June.

Sea World tends to be our favorite adventure in San Diego and since Matt and my sister-in-law had never been there, we decided to take the trip. I was a bit worried at first how we would all manage to have a good time with the new additions in our family, however it didn't turn out as bad as I thought. Granite I didn't get to spend as much time with my brother as I wanted to. It is funny how life changes and things aren't the way they used to be. I don't know what's normal when it comes to the relationships you are supposed to have with your siblings, but for those of you who don't know, he is my only sibling and we are four years apart. I tend to criticize myself a bit too much sometimes but I have a hard time feeling completely close to him or like I am a good enough sister. He likes to remind me of the times I used to be so mean to him when we were little. Other than that we do not have much to say to one another. We are so different from each other.

For some reason I thought going on vacation would allow for the old times to kick in and for us to grow closer. He was busy with his own family and having fun with them but how could I blame him. I did get to enjoy my nieces in the meantime and went out to dinner with my brother and sister-in-law once without my parents. Otherwise we all ate dinners together each night and usually went our separate ways when we arrived at a location.

We ended up going to Sea World, the beach, and the San Diego Zoo as a family. You might have noticed from my earlier post about the photography, that Matt and I managed to hit up Balboa Park before we left for home.

One of my favorite parts of the trip was at Sea World during the Shamu show. At the beginning of the show they invited all the soldiers to stand up and thanked them for serving our country. Of course you know my brother is in the army, so he stood up to be honored. Generally speaking, Sea World respected soldiers quite a bit; they let his whole family get in free. It was great to see him stand up and be honored in a place that he used to come to as a little boy and loved. I was sad I didn't get to see his face, as I was sitting behind him, but it did make me proud of him.

To let you know a little more about what my brother is doing in the army, here is what I can tell you. He drives a huge buffulo truck to find bombs or mines in Afghanastan. He was ranked in the higher division according to his IQ test, sharp shooting skills, and the first to be on scene. So you can see how I am a little worried about him and his safety. It makes it even more difficult to see him leave considering that I feel like I am not the best sister and we aren't as close as I would like to be. But I am confident that in time, as we grow older and experience more in life, my brother and I will find more in common and will build a stronger bond. For those who are willing, I would really appreciate it that you remember my brother and his beautiful little family in your prayers. It's a difficult time for my family and especially for his wife and two girls, but with many heartfelt prayers offered on his behalf, I know God will protect him while he is in Afghanistan. Thank-you!

San Diego Photography

Thanks to friends around me, I am once again inspired by photographs and wanted to post some of Matt's and I (mostly mine, wink, wink) photography of when went to San Diego in July. I will be posting more about it later because of the sentimental stories behind the vacation but I thought I would give you a sneak preview by showing some of San Diego highlights.

Balboa Park

San Diego Zoo

California

Sea World

Camping Over July 24th

Now that the official title of this blog includes my name, it wouldn't be fair to Brittnee nor maintain the accuracy of this blog if I didn't actually write something. So, for my first installment, I'll talk about our camping trip with our friends Darrell and Amanda to a town near Price.


The camping trip took place over the July 24th weekend. Who needs more fireworks when you can go camping, right? As it turns out, Amanda has more than 500 acres (correct me if I'm wrong Amanda) in the family name. On some of the land Amanda's father planted hay and installed huge sprinkler systems with Darrell's help. The other acres were basically unoccupied and open to our choosing. Darrell and Amanda chose the spot. To me it felt like our own private island without any nearby water. It was a shaded spot in the eaves of a hanging rock. It reminded Brittnee of Pride Rock from Lion King, but for me it was just fun to climb and even attempt some rock jumping.


It took us several attempts to back up the pop-up trailer into position and raise it up fully, but Darrell and I managed to complete that task without too big of a knock on our masculinity. By the time camp was ready, it was already getting darker, so the girls cooked our tin foil "hobo" dinners over the camp fire. The rest of the night included typical camping fare - smores and campfire stories. Then it was off to bed in the pop-up trailer (my first experience with that and I must admit it beats sleeping in a tent).



Early the next morning, Brittnee woke me up because nature was calling her name and women for some reason can never do their duty alone when it's dark out. After breakfast, we all went shooting Darrell's guns at homemade targets near an old homestead that Amanda's great grandfather built and lived on to claim the land. We shot a 22 rifle, which was much lighter than I anticipated. We also shot three other hand guns: a 9mm, 22 pistol, and a 380 pistol. My favorite was the 9mm pistol. The pistol was small enough to fit inside the palm of your hand, but gave a big kick for a small gun.



Around midday or so, we went on a few good hikes to some great lookouts over the valley below. Unfortunately it was so bloody hot that we had to cut the hike short and tried to cool off by playing Phase 10 in the shade of the canopy. Half way through the game and 10 million bottles of water later, we were still hot and sweaty, so we went into town for some cold drinks and more ice and to visit Amanda's dad. If you don't quite understand how hot it was yet, look at the photo of Darrell and Amanda's dog Yoko. She chose to roll in the mud to cool off. I thought about following her example, but opted out and stood under the sprinklers instead. Boy did they do the trick!



On our last evening we roasted hot dogs over the campfire, went on a few short hikes, took pictures of the full moon, lit leftover sparklers from our wedding, and watched as each of us transformed into werewolves. Ok not really, but just checking to see if you were still reading. So all in all it was a fun weekend getaway camping trip to a new spot with good friends. Thanks Darrell and Amanda!