12 More Days

12 More Days until the BIG DAY!
So how do I feel....uhh depends on the day!

Sometimes I can't wait to get it over with and just be married. . .
It's annoying having to say goodnight everynight and not just be next to him. It's bothersome to go home our separate ways. It's annoying to tell him to not look or stay downstairs because I have to change. Did I mention how annoying it is to say goodnight?? Because I'm really sick of it! Thus I can't wait to just be married.

Okay so of course it's not just to get over the annoyances. I'm just so excited to be marrying my best friend. It will be so neat to be roommates and do whatever we want wink, wink. I actually mean that all around with everything. I'm way blessed to have found someone who treats me so good and puts me before himself.

Some days I'm a little scared and wonder if I'm ready (but then who is truly ready?)? I have lived a single life away from home for six years and been in and out of relationships. I wonder am I really ready to settle down with one person for the rest of my life and beyond? Will there still be excitement and romance? But then I think if I follow the council others give me, do what I can to make it through each day, and find something positive about the day (like we or he... lol always does), we will be fine. I guess I have what you call "cold feet" sometimes. But I know that Matt will do all he can to make me happy and that I always have struggled with high expectations and I just need to realize that I'm just retarded.

Then other days like today I'm back to excitement and just Can't wait! Who am I to kid myself with cold feet? Sometimes I get lost in my world thinking everything should go just right (I'm a blue personality) and I have to keep reminding myself they don't and Matt is as close to perfect as I could possibly ask for. Sure he isn't perfect at all but I know he tries to improve and bends over backwards for me. I just need to be better at bending back to him.

I love Matt!