Becoming a mother has opened my heart to a different kind of LOVE, a very special LOVE that I would do anything for. I just LOVE to make Aunika smile. Gazing into her eyes as we "coo" to one another is a highlight of my day. She gives me a whole new perspective on life. I have a greater purpose now than I ever did before. I feel completely and sincerely happy.
I love my husband that's for sure. But I just cannot express the LOVE I have for Aunika. Especially as it's Valentines Day today I look back on the new adventure/adjustment my life has brought me with my daughter. It was extremely difficult for me at first. Nursing did not come easy, mostly because I never realized how much time it took. I felt bound to the couch, unable to do anything. I was her main source of survival and I found that slightly frustrating. She was constantly nursing which only exhausted me even more.
Now I am more adjusted to my new lifestyle. I understand I can still live my life normally to some extent. I am used to the idea that it doesn't just have to be about nursing. I can bond with her during that time (if she isn't constantly falling asleep) and I can even watch TV. I'm grateful that because she nurses every hour and a half, she sleeps through the night with only waking up once to nurse.
Quitting work was easy to do but hard to get used to. I knew it was the right thing for us and I am very blessed that we are able to handle it financially. At times I do LOVE being at home with my daughter, but there are other times I miss the adult social interaction and the feeling of getting things done. I was so excited to quit and stay at home that I never realized how hard it would be. I yearn for days of getting out of the house and away for a bit. I thrive to keep myself learning and feeling fulfilled.
That is why I have given myself the goal of learning to bake. So I feel like I have accomplished something, especially since I had no time to do it before. It makes my hubby happy to have something sweet to enjoy as well. So I have done it again, I baked sugar cookies for the sake of being Valentines. And speaking of Valentines, I am also grateful for my husband who made it possible for me to take a shower and did the dishes. I am grateful he tries so hard to keep me happy. He is a wonderful Husband and Father, I LOVE him dearly.